


At the End of the Road

by slaysvamps



Category: Glee
Genre: AU, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 20:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slaysvamps/pseuds/slaysvamps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU from 4x10 Glee, Actually. Weeks after leaving Kurt in New York Blaine finds himself in a situation he never would have expected. With Kurt moving on with his life and ignoring him completely, Blaine must find a way handle things on his own. Until he doesn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At the End of the Road

**Author's Note:**

> The story is unbeta'd.  
> Disclaimer: Not mine. No disrespect or copy write infringement intended.  
> Warning: Mpreg – so if you don’t like that sort of thing, steer clear. Not exactly Kurt friendly.  
> Additional Note: Special thanks to the anonymous reviewer over on fanfiction net who corrected my original Filipino word for male carrier. Just goes to show that babelfish doesn't know everything...

Blaine Anderson was a lot of things. He was committed to getting the best grades he could in school. He was sure and confident in his sexuality. He was talented and driven when it came to performing. He was good at boxing and piano, and even guitar.

Not everything about Blaine was positive. He was angry and jealous and maybe just a bit too proud of his talents. Sometimes Blaine was a little slow when it came to figuring out if someone liked him or not, but there was one thing Blaine wasn’t.

Blaine Anderson wasn’t stupid. 

He knew his father loved him, but would rather not have a son who was gay. He knew his mother loved him too, but after he’d come out, she didn’t quite know what to do with him. In spite of it all, Blaine was determined to be the best son he could be, to get the best grades he could, to succeed and make his parents proud.

Blaine knew that the year spent apart from Kurt was going to be the end of their relationship. He saw it coming long before Kurt broke it off. The missed Skype dates, the unanswered texts, the ignored emails, the declined phone calls. All of it told Blaine that New York was doing what nothing in Westerville or Lima had been able to do. New York was seducing his boyfriend.

Broadway shows, shopping in Manhattan, working for Vogue.com, making new friends, all of this was pulling Kurt in a direction that Blaine couldn’t follow, not yet. And by the time he would be able to move to New York, Kurt would have already moved on, would have built a life without Blaine.

Seeing Kurt pull away had made Blaine think that maybe he needed to move on too, maybe he needed to find a way to live his life that didn’t have Kurt at the very center. That was why Blaine had started messaging Eli.

Okay, maybe sometimes Blaine Anderson was stupid.

At first, talking to Eli was sort of nice. Eli was interested in Blaine, wanted to hear how his day was, wanted to spend time with him. Kurt, on the other hand, was way more interested in talking about the latest musical he and Rachel had managed to score tickets to, or about the latest article he’d proofread, or the latest sale at Macy’s to care about what was happening in Blaine’s life.

But Eli had been a mistake, a stupid mistake, Blaine had known that the instant it had happened. He’d flown to New York to see Kurt, to apologize, to beg forgiveness, but there was no forgiveness to be had. He’d returned to Lima in disgrace, exiled from the man he loved more than anything in the world.

Blaine’s stupid mistake had cost him the love of his life, and the fallout had cost him the lead in the school musical. It had taken weeks for Blaine to see through the fog of grief he’d been walking through to think that he might be able to survive his break up with Kurt.

Then Burt had shown up to whisk him away to New York for Christmas. He could tell that Kurt hadn’t been that happy to see him, not at first, and when Blaine had mentioned applying for NYADA, Kurt had been more than a little thrown at the thought of both of them attending the same college. None of that had prepared him for what had happened next.

Burt had taken the couch leaving Blaine to share Kurt’s bed. It should have been innocent. The boys were just friends now, and they’d slept in the same bed before, so there should have been no danger of anything happening, especially with Burt sleeping just steps away in the living room.

Maybe Blaine Anderson was a lot more stupid than he wanted to admit.

He’d woken in the middle of the night to hot breath in his ear and Kurt’s hand on his hard cock. Before he knew it, Blaine had been on his knees with his face pressed into the pillow to stifle his moans as Kurt worked him open, first with his fingers, then with his dick. He’d fallen asleep in Kurt’s arms, resting easy for the first time in months with the thought that he hadn’t lost Kurt after all.

The next morning he quickly realized how wrong he’d been. At breakfast, Kurt wouldn’t look so much as look him in the eye. Burt quickly picked up on his son’s behavior and did his best to keep the conversation light, but Blaine had had enough. He’d made up some excuse about wanting to do some sightseeing and offered to meet Burt at the airport. Kurt hadn’t even told him goodbye when he left.

Hours later Blaine crawled into his own bed and cried himself to sleep.

The next few weeks were hard. It was almost as if he were reliving the breakup all over again. Kurt wouldn’t return his texts, didn’t answer his calls, ignored his emails. Blaine had no appetite to speak of and sometimes when he did manage to force himself to eat, it just came back up anyway. He spent many sleepless nights and wandered through his days in an exhausted haze. It was all he could do to keep up with his school work and make it home every night just to crawl into bed and stare at the wall waiting for sleep that wouldn’t come. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

To Blaine: Feb 8, 2013, 4:23 pm  
Hi, Blaine! I was just wondering if I was going to see you at Mr. Shue’s wedding next week. It’s the perfect venue for duets!

To Rachel: Feb 8, 2013, 4:28 pm  
Are you asking or is Kurt asking?

To Blaine: Feb 8, 2013, 4:35 pm  
I’m asking, of course! It’s been a long time since we’ve performed a duet!

To Blaine: Feb 8, 2013, 5:01 pm  
Blaine?

To Rachel: Feb 8, 2013, 5:04 pm  
You’ll have to find another duet partner. I won’t be there.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

~Thursday, February 28, 2013~

Blaine’s participation in New Directions suffered, of course. His throat was sore from vomiting, making it hard to hit the notes that were once so easy for him to reach. His body was weak from lack of food and sleep, making him stumble through the choreography. Mr. Shue let it pass for a while, but it soon became clear that Blaine’s deteriorating condition was going to affect their performance at Regional’s.

Finn pulled him aside after practice. “Look, I know it’s been hard, this whole thing with Kurt,” he said gently, “but it’s been months, dude, you’ve got to get over it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Blaine rubbed a hand across his eyes. “I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I get it,” Finn replied. “I didn’t sleep well when I found out Rachel was seeing Brody either. It’s hard, but they’ve moved on, and we have to too.”

Blaine sat up quickly. “Wait, what?” 

Finn frowned. “You didn’t know?”

“K-he’s seeing someone else?” Blaine asked in a small voice.

“Yeah, for a while now,” Finn replied awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I thought that’s—”

Blaine turned and dove toward the waste basket in the corner, barely grabbing the rim before dropping to his knees and emptying his stomach into the metal container. He coughed and spit and retched again, dry heaving until tears were streaming down his face.

Soft fingers wiped a tissue across his face, cleaning away the tears and spit as strong arms pulled him away from the waste basket. Without knowing who held him, Blaine turned his face into a rough sweater and cried into the nameless, faceless person’s shoulder. It was a long time before a familiar voice pulled him from his grief.

“Blaine, honey, let’s get you up.”

Blinking, Blaine raised his head to see his mother, Michelle Anderson, crouched next to him. He took the tissue that she handed him and wiped his face clear of tears, blowing his nose before taking her hand and letting her pull him to his feet.

“Thank you, Tina,” Michelle said to the girl still sitting on the floor.

Blaine looked down to see Tina climbing to her feet.

“Take care of him,” Tina told his mother. “He hasn’t been doing well lately.”

“I will,” Michelle said softly. 

She led him past a worried looking Finn, out of the office, out of the school, and into the parking lot where her dark sedan waited. It wasn’t until she was pulling out of the lot that she spoke again. 

“Honey, this has gone on long enough,” she said gently. “I’ve made an appointment with Dr. Foster.”

“Mom—” 

“I don’t want to hear it,” she said, holding up a hand. “You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, you’ve lost weight. You’re making yourself sick over this boy.”

“I know,” he said, biting back a sob. “I just miss him, mom. I love him.”

Michelle reached over and took his hand, holding it as she drove.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The exam was pretty straightforward, at first. Blaine answered questions about his sleeping habits, his eating habits, how often he’d thrown up in the past few weeks. His mom sat in the corner with a worried frown on her face when she heard how often he hadn’t been able to keep food down. He was grateful when she stepped from the room for the physical part of the exam.

His first hint that something was wrong was when Dr. Foster was examining his abdomen. The doctor pressed at different areas, moving from one spot to the next in a quick perfunctory manner, until he reached a spot just above his pubic bone. That’s when everything changed.

Two hours, a urine test, three blood draws, an embarrassing battery of questions about his sex life and an ultrasound later, Blaine was sitting in the doctor’s office looking down at a pamphlet clutched in his hands with the bold words of ‘The Taga-Dala Phenomenon: What The Male Carrier Gene Means For You’ written on the cover.

For a moment Blaine let himself remember warm skin and hard muscle, the slick glide of Kurt’s body into his. He hadn’t thought about condoms until after it was over, but by then it had been far too late.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

To Kurt: Mar 1, 2013, 8:06 pm  
I need to talk to you. 

To Kurt: Mar 1, 2013, 9:30 pm  
It’s important, Kurt. Please.

To Kurt: Mar 2, 2013, 10:40 am  
I really need to talk to you. Please stop sending my calls to voicemail.

To Kurt: Mar 2, 2013, 12:04 pm  
I have to tell you something, Kurt, and I don’t want to do it in a text. Call me.

To Kurt: Mar 2, 2013, 3:29 pm  
This is important, Kurt. Answer your phone. Or call me.

To Blaine: Mar 2, 2013, 3:42 pm  
Please stop texting me. I don’t want to talk to you. It’s over. 

To Kurt: Mar 2, 2013, 3:57 pm  
I’m pregnant.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

To Blaine: Mar 2, 2013, 5:09 pm  
Of all the immature, asinine things to do, Blaine Anderson. What did you think you could accomplish with a lie like that? Leave Kurt alone. 

To Rachel: Mar 2, 2013, 5:14 pm  
Taga-Dala Phenomenon. Google it.

To Blaine: Mar 2, 2013, 5:17 pm  
Haven’t you hurt him enough?

To Blaine: Mar 2, 2013, 5:40 pm  
OMG, is this real?

To Rachel: Mar 2, 2013, 5:46 pm  
Yes.

To Blaine: Mar 2, 2013, 5:59 pm  
Who’s the father?

To Rachel: Mar 2, 2013, 6:04 pm  
You’re not the one who should be asking me that, Rachel.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

~Saturday, March 16, 2013~

Dr. Foster had prescribed something to stop the nausea, but even so it was weeks before Blaine started regaining the weight he’d lost. His voice recovered and his dancing improved just in time for him to get a solo at Regional’s.

He walked out onto the dark stage, his red bow tie and cummerbund a burst of color against his black shirt and pants, and stood in the spotlight, taking a moment to center himself before he began to sing. 

 

Is there a light  
At the end of the road  
I'm pushing everyone away  
'Cause I can't feel this anymore

 

The audience sat listening in stunned silence as Blaine poured his heart into the song, letting his emotions fill the words. The bright lights blinded him, giving the illusion that he was completely alone in the auditorium. 

 

Have you ever been so lost  
Known the way and still so lost  
Another night waiting for someone to take me home  
Have you ever been so lost*

 

As the last notes of the song faded away, the audience was on its feet, screaming and clapping their approval. Blaine blinked away his tears and gave a brief bow before making his way off the stage while the rest of New Directions moved into place for their next number.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Later that night in his New York apartment, Kurt watched the performance on the screen of his laptop, his eyes glued to the painfully thin boy who sang his heart out on the stage. He searched in vain for any sign of Blaine’s pregnancy, but the suit jacket was loose enough to hide a baby bump, if one was even present just yet. 

Rachel had shown Kurt the websites that talked about Taga-Dala Phenomenon in way more detail than Kurt had ever wanted to know, had even ordered a book on the subject written by Dr. Calvin Levin, the country’s leading expert in male pregnancy. He’d even subscribed to Dr. Levin’s weekly email list that talked about his current patients.

Kurt wanted to believe that Blaine’s baby was his, but he couldn’t get past the pain in his heart when he thought about Blaine cheating on him. He let his tears fall unchecked and wished that he’d been there to see all of his old friends accept the Regionals trophy, but most of all he wished he’d been there to dry Blaine’s tears.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

~Tuesday, April 23, 2013~

Though he and Kurt were over, Blaine held to his promise to keep an eye on Burt. He made sure to visit the garage when Burt was in town, to bring him lunch or check on how things were progressing in the fight against the cancer. When Burt had to go in to the hospital for testing in April, Blaine went with them to sit with Carole while they waited for the test to be done.

Blaine was walking back to the waiting room with a coffee for Carole when he heard someone call his name. He turned to see Dr. Foster approaching with another man at his side.

“Blaine, I thought it was you,” Dr. Foster said with a smile. “Is everything well? You’re not here for any problems, are you?”

“No, sir,” Blaine replied, smiling. “A friend is having some tests done, we’re just waiting for the results.”

“Good, good,” Dr. Foster replied. “Blaine, this is Dr. Levin, the specialist I told you about.”

“Oh,” Blaine said, looking at the other man. “I-it’s good to meet you,” he added, holding out his hand, “but I thought you weren’t supposed to be here until next month.”

Dr. Levin shook Blaine’s hand firmly. “My schedule was cleared unexpectedly, so I thought I’d be here for your next appointment,” he explained. “It’s tomorrow, right?”

“Yes,” Blaine replied eagerly. “Yes, tomorrow afternoon. I have a lot of questions.”

“I can’t wait,” Dr. Levin said with a smile. “We’ve got a lot to discuss.”

A few minutes later Blaine returned to Carole’s side and handed her the cup of coffee, not noticing the concerned way she watched the two doctors disappear down a side hall.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

~Wednesday, April 24, 2013~

“You conceived at Christmas, right?” Dr. Levin asked as he ran the sonogram wand across Blaine’s abdomen the next afternoon.

“That’s right,” Blaine murmured, watching the monitor closely for any sign of life.

“Quite a gift, then,” Dr. Levin hummed. “Oh, here we go.”

Blaine watched the shifting images on the screen and bit his lip when he was able to identify first a hand, then a leg.

“Oh, honey,” Michelle breathed. She was sitting on a stool by his side, holding his hand and watching the monitor with a tear in her eye.

Dr. Levin moved the wand a little. “Oh, hello. Blaine, do you want to know the sex of your baby?”

“You can tell?” he gasped, staring at the monitor. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t make sense of the shadows that shifted and moved across the screen. “I want to know.”

“Congratulations,” Dr. Levin smiled, “it’s a girl.” He continued to move the wand around, taking a good look at the fetus. “Looks like everything’s going well. She’s got all her fingers and toes, her development appears to be right on track for sixteen weeks.”

“A girl,” Blaine said softly, smiling up at Michelle. “A daughter.”

Michelle squeezed his hand and smiled back.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

~Saturday, May 4, 2013~

“This isn’t your usual offering,” Burt said as he lifted the lid from his take out container to reveal a dish of fish and rice. “Casa Lu Al stop serving take out?”

“You’re supposed to be eating healthy,” Blaine replied with a smile, “and this place has awesome fruit smoothies.”

Burt eyed Blaine’s clear plastic cup, half filled with a creamy pink slushy mixture. “You give up on coffee?”

“Here, I brought you one, caffeine free,” Blaine offered, handing over a large Styrofoam cup. “Two Splendas, just like you like it.”

“I’d prefer the caffeine, but I’ll take what I can get.” Burt took the lid from his cup and took a sip of the hot liquid before setting it down carefully. “Blaine, we need to talk.”

The boy looked up in surprise, concern written on his face. “What—did the test results come back already?”

“No, son,” Burt soothed, “this isn’t about me. It’s about you.”

Blaine let his fork rest in his food and sat back in his chair. “I-look, I’m sorry about the food. I can pick up from Lu Al—”

“It’s not the food, Blaine,” Burt told him. “Look, I don’t want you to think that Carole and I are buttin’ into your business, but you should know that she overheard part of your conversation with those doctors at the hospital last week.”

A panicked look flashed over Blaine’s features and was gone, hidden behind a pale mask.

“We were worried about you seeing a specialist,” Burt continued gently. “You know Carole works at the hospital. She asked around and found out Dr. Levin specializes in that Talagada Phenomenon —” 

“Taga-Dala,” Blaine whispered, putting his hands on his stomach as if to cover the slight bulge beneath his jeans.

“Yeah, that,” Burt agreed. “The Male Carrier Gene they discovered a few years back. Pretty rare, from what I understand, only found in those of Filipino descent. Now, like I said, I don’t mean to pry, but if you’re seeing this doctor….”

Blaine closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah, okay,” he said softly. “I am a… I have the gene. I-I’m pregnant. Seventeen weeks.”

“Seventeen weeks,” Burt repeated, looking at him thoughtfully.

“Christmas,” Blaine admitted, looking down at his food. “Lizzy was conceived on Christmas.” Without looking up, he picked up his fork and took a bite of his fish. The flavor was good, the lemon and herb taste filling his mouth.

“Have you told Kurt?” Burt asked after a moment.

“I tried. He didn’t believe me.” Blaine took a sip from his straw to wet his dry mouth. “He hasn’t really talked to me since… since Christmas.”

“Yeah.” Burt picked up his fork and started eating. “You know he’s….”

“I know he’s seeing someone else,” Blaine replied, trying hard to keep his voice from shaking. “He’s got a new life in New York, and I’m trying to respect that.”

“He’s got a responsibility to his kid,” Burt said firmly. “I’ll talk to Kurt and explain the situation. He’ll come around.”

Blaine shook his head. “No, this is his decision. You can’t force him to be involved if he doesn’t want to be. And you know, after what I did, he probably wouldn’t even believe he’s the father.” He put his fork down, his appetite gone. He could feel a dark wave of hopelessness wash over him and he pushed it down.

“Blaine, I…” Burt began.

“He is the father,” Blaine said firmly. “I’ve never... done that with anyone else.”

Burt nodded. “Okay, well, we’ll work through this, all right? You just focus on staying healthy for that baby and let the rest of us handle everything else.”

“I guess.” Blaine’s fingers moved on the edge of the food container in front of him, but he made no move to pick up his fork.

“Come on, now,” Burt insisted. “That baby’s gotta eat, you know? Lizzy, is that what you’re gonna name her?”

Blaine couldn’t help but smile just a little. “Elizabeth Michelle, after her grandmothers.”

Burt blinked, then grinned. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

To Blaine: May 5, 2013, 7:32 pm  
Skype, 9pm tonight.

To Blaine: May 5, 2013, 8:12 pm  
Please. I talked to my dad.

To Blaine: May 5, 2013, 8:41 pm  
5 minutes, please just give me 5 minutes.

To Kurt: May 5, 2013, 8:53 pm  
5 minutes.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

At 9:01 pm, Blaine sat staring at the dialog box on his computer screen asking him to accept a Skype session. He didn’t want to accept. He didn’t want to talk to Kurt, didn’t want to hear the accusations, or the anger or the blame.

“I’ll be right here, baby,” Michelle said, putting her hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “Just hear what he has to say. Five minutes, right?”

Blaine took a deep breath and nodded. With shaking fingers, he moved the mouse and pressed the button. A moment later the screen was filled with Kurt’s face.

“Mrs. Anderson,” Kurt said in surprise.

“Hello, Kurt,” she replied smoothly. “I thought it would be best if I sat in, if you don’t mind. The doctor doesn’t want Blaine getting too upset right now.”

“Mom,” Blaine said softly, running a hand over his eyes partly in embarrassment and partly to block the sight of his ex-boyfriend if only for a moment.

“It’s fine,” Kurt said quickly. “I completely understand that Blaine’s health takes priority right now. I’ve read about some of the complications.” He hesitated a moment, then said, “Blaine, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you about… about the pregnancy.”

Blaine made an effort to keep his voice steady and his face smooth. “Why would you? I wouldn’t have believed it if it wasn’t happening to me.”

Kurt seemed to hesitate a moment, glancing to one side of his screen, probably looking at Michelle, Blaine thought.

“Dad said you told him it happened at Christmas,” he said at last, “that the baby’s mine.”

“I got pregnant at Christmas,” Blaine said in a carefully even voice, “but she’s mine, Kurt. It doesn’t have to affect you at all.”

Kurt frowned. “Wha—? If it’s my baby—”

“Biologically she is,” Blaine interrupted, “but that doesn’t have to mean anything. Babies are a big commitment and you have a full life in New York, what with school, and work and your new b-boyfriend. A part time parent would just be confusing for her. You don’t have to be involved. I can take care of her on my own.”

“But if I’m the father, she’s–,” Kurt pointed out.

“Stop saying it like that,” Blaine snapped.

Michelle reached out and put her hand on Blaine’s arm to calm him, but he shrugged it off.

Kurt shook his head. “What?”

“You’re the father, Kurt,” Blaine said firmly, his voice rising. “I know that you don’t trust me because I-I cheated, but that was three months before I got pregnant, and I didn’t fuck him, which you would know if you’d ever have let me tell you what happened. You’re the only one I’ve ever—”

“Blaine, you need to calm down,” Michelle said softly. “This isn’t good for you, or the baby.”

With a nod, Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. 

“I’m sorry, Blaine,” Kurt said softly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You are the biological father of this child,” he said as he opened his eyes, “but I know very well that biology doesn’t make a dad. Kids don’t understand about tickets to Broadway or new friends or classes or long hours at the office. They need stability and constancy. Now, I would never keep your child from you, but I want you to understand that I won’t think any less of you if you decide you can’t make the commitment to be in Lizzy’s life. You don’t have to be involved.”

Kurt stared at the screen for a long moment. “Is that what you want?”

“What I want?” Blaine asked incredulously. “I spent months watching you slip away from me. You had your new job and your new friends and your new life, Kurt and you never once looked back to see that I couldn’t keep up!”

“Blaine,” Michelle said softly, urgently, but Blaine ignored her.

“Yes, I screwed up,” he continued in a voice tight with anger, “but you didn’t even try to understand what I was going through. And just when I thought you’d forgiven me, that we could move past what I did, you turned your back on me, again! You think I wanted that?”

“Blaine, please,” Kurt pleaded. “You shouldn’t—”

“I’m going to do everything I can to make sure this baby grows up as healthy and happy as possible,” Blaine said firmly. “If you want to be a part of that, great. If not, well, I’ll deal with it, just like I’ve been dealing with morning sickness and doctors and all the crap that I’ve had to deal with since you got me pregnant. Now, if you’ll excuse me, your five minutes are up.”

Without listening to Kurt’s protests, Blaine got up from his chair and walked out, leaving his mom to deal with closing the Skype session.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

To Blaine: May 6, 2013, 6:24 pm  
I’m sorry I upset you last night. 

To Blaine: May 6, 2013, 6:45 pm  
You’re right, we both messed up. 

To Blaine: May 6, 2013, 6:49 pm  
You were right about kids needing someone reliable and dependable, but you needed that too when I went to New York and you didn’t get it. I should have paid more attention to you, to us. I’m sorry.

To Blaine: May 6, 2013, 6:52 pm  
What I did to you at Xmas and after was unforgivable. I was still angry at you but you were there and I just missed you so much. When it was over I was so mad at myself I took it out on you. 

To Blaine: May 6, 2013, 6:55 pm  
I know I don’t deserve forgiveness and the last thing I want to do is hurt you again, but if you’ll let me, I do want to be a part of our daughter’s life. I will do whatever it takes to prove to you I can be a good father, I promise.

To Blaine: May 6, 2013, 7:15 pm  
Take whatever time you need to think about it. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

To Kurt: May 7, 2013, 4:15 am  
Okay.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

~Friday, May 24, 2013~

Over the next few weeks, Blaine and Kurt moved from tentative texts to longer emails. At first their communications were strictly about Blaine’s health and the baby, but as time moved on they began sharing little pieces of their lives. They talked about their classes, families and friends, Kurt’s job and the upcoming Nationals competition. 

Nationals that year was held in Washington DC. Given the delicacy of his pregnancy, Blaine was unable to fly with the rest of New Directions. He and Michelle took their time driving to the capital, arriving the same day as the others to check into the hotel.

Unique and Marley shared the first duet while the others harmonized and danced in perfect synchronization. Blaine stood to one side of the stage watching, waiting for his cue. He wished he could have joined them for the entire performance, but Dr. Levin had made him promise he wouldn’t dance a single step.

When the first song ended the kids streamed past him, leaving the stage empty and dark while he walked out to his place. The spotlight hit him and he began singing in a low mournful voice. A few lines in some of the other kids moved onto the stage, singing back up in perfect harmony as they danced.

 

In another life  
I would be your girl  
We'd keep all our promises  
Be us against the world

 

The thought of Kurt was foremost in Blaine’s mind as he stood and sang while the others moved around and behind him. He sang the words to the man he loved, telling himself it would be the last time he expressed his feelings toward Kurt out loud. He poured all of his emotions into the words hoping to get them all out of his system. When the competition was over he would bury the love he felt for Kurt and do his best to become nothing more than friends.

 

In another life  
I would make you stay  
So I don't have to say  
You were the one that got away**

 

In the back of the auditorium, Kurt sat watching with tears in his eyes. He’d forgotten the sheer presence Blaine had on stage, even without all the dancing and jumping around he usually did. Standing still with a loose jacket it was hard to tell that he was pregnant, but Kurt saw all of the signs, drank them in like water.

It wasn’t just Blaine’s pregnancy that pulled at Kurt’s heart. Seeing Blaine sing, hearing emotions ringing through every word reminded Kurt of how much he had once loved this man, how much he still loved him, despite everything.

The stage darkened and when the lights came back up Blaine was gone. The rest of New Directions began a more upbeat song to finish their set. Kurt forced himself to watch the rest of the competition, telling himself that he needed to be sure of how he felt before he talked to Blaine.

No one was surprised when New Directions took first place.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Blaine sat on the balcony of the hotel room he shared with his mother, looking out over the lights of the city. The day had been long and tiring, and Michelle had insisted that he rest while she ordered room service for them. When he heard footsteps he thought it was Michelle telling him the food had arrived. He was more than surprised when Kurt joined him on the balcony.

Just the sight of the man was nearly enough to make Blaine cry. He’d dealt with the emails and texts mostly because he hadn’t had to see Kurt in person, hadn’t had to hear his beautiful voice. Now all the love and longing he’d hoped to bury crashed through him, leaving him breathless.

It took Blaine a moment before he could speak. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

“I came in for Nationals,” Kurt said softly. “I wanted to congratulate you. You were… all of you were breathtaking.”

Blaine looked down, ignoring the flush he felt darkening his cheeks. “Thank you.”

Silence stretched between them before Kurt shifted nervously on his feet. “I hope you don’t mind I came by.”

“No, of course not,” Blaine replied, too flustered by the other man’s presence to tell whether be anything other than polite. “Please, have a seat.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Kurt sat carefully in a patio chair near where Blaine sat. “Your mother said that you’re moving to New York.”

“Right after graduation,” Blaine admitted. “Mom found us an apartment in Manhattan. It’s not far from Dr. Levin’s office, or the hospital. He wants us to be close.”

“Is something wrong?” Kurt asked, concerned. “I’ve read about the complications—” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Blaine assured him. “I’m young and we’re both healthy. Mom’s just trying to be proactive, just in case.”

“Good,” Kurt said with a sigh of relief. “How often do you see the doctor?”

“He’s been flying out every month but he wants to see me more often once I get to New York,” Blaine explained. “My first appointment is June 7th.”

“Oh?” Kurt looked like he wanted to say more, but in the end he held his tongue.

“Do-do you want to come?” Blaine asked hesitantly. “It’s kind of in the middle of the day, but they’ve been doing an ultrasound every ti—” 

“Yes!” Kurt said quickly. “Yes, of course I want to come. I meant what I said about being involved, Blaine. I-I’ll come to any appointment you let me, no matter when it is.”

Blaine smiled and ran a hand down the side of his stomach where the baby was kicking against his side. Kurt’s eyes followed the movement, a part of him thrilled at the way the gesture emphasized his burgeoning stomach.

“Maybe afterward we could get something to eat,” Kurt suggested cautiously.

Blaine’s smile faded. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he said in a voice carefully guarded to hide his emotions. “I’m sure your boyfriend wouldn’t like—”

“No, no, I’m not seeing anyone,” Kurt said quickly. “I mean, I was, but he, ah, it just didn’t work out. He’s headed back to England, in any case.”

“Oh,” Blaine said softly.

“Look, Blaine, I want to be a part of our daughter’s life, a part of your life. We’ve both screwed up, we’ve hurt each other and I want us to be done with that. I don’t want to hurt you again. Can we just start over?”

“We can’t pretend this last year hasn’t happened,” Blaine pointed out.

“And I wouldn’t want to,” Kurt said earnestly, “but I do want to put it behind us. I-I love you, Blaine. I want us to be together.”

Looking into Kurt’s beautiful eyes, Blaine knew it wouldn’t be as easy as all that. Rebuilding their relationship would take hard work and honest communication, and the addition of a baby certainly wouldn’t make things any easier, but he couldn’t not try.

Blaine knew he’d done a lot of stupid things in his life, but reaching out and taking Kurt’s hand wasn’t one of them.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Songs quoted in the story:  
*Katy Perry - Lost  
**Katy Perry – The One That Got Away


End file.
